My Last Week And Last Blog

Hey there,

Well what a week. I went to see Leonard Cohen (Life = complete).

Monday:I came back to Germany on Monday and had an absolute disaster getting home. I was told by Deutsch Bahn that there was a train station in the bottom of Frankfurt Airport. They sold me a ticket that if I missed the train I could not get a refund or another train with that ticket. So I arrived into Frankfurt-Hahn which is basically a field and a shed. Turns out there are two airports in Frankfurt and I was most definitely at the country cousin which did not have a train station underground. Turns out I was 2 hours away from where I was meant to be and that meant that I was going to miss the train. I got to see Frankfurt by bus but due to the circumstances I now don't like it there. In total I had to pay €120 to get back to Freiburg and travelled 6 more hours than I needed to originally.

Tuesday:I started doing a Creative Writing course that finished on Saturday which was really great. People received my story really well. Our class was an interesting bunch; the highly opinionated Danish woman, the Bavarian forest man, the flaming gay Georg, the insane Spanish woman that smelt like turf and Arnold Schwarzenegger as a 20 year old. It was a fairly odd mix! I loved it though and tonight (Saturday)we're going for drinks and watching Axel (the Bavarian) rap...yes. Rap. I'll fill you in once it happens. On Tuesday I went to Feierling to drink my favourite beer. I came home to find Pharaoh out of sorts. He had a little black lump under his chin. I went to bed.

Wednesday: I woke up to find that Pharaoh had passed away during the night. At first I felt nothing but then I realised that Coco passed away a month before I left for Germany. I should have known. I wanted to bury him beside the lake but due to the rat problem I had to make other arrangements. When I broke the news to Konny he laughed and said "I told you so! I knew you kill that fish" Everyday that boy becomes more and more entertaining. The hardest part was taking him out of the bowl. It took me about half an hour to work up the courage. I buried him in a frozen cod fillet box with sand from Scotsmans Bay. The funeral procession went down to the dumpster and I slowly slide in down into the depths of trash.

Thursday: was pretty boring. I spent a lot of my time looking at the vacant space on my shelf where Pharaoh once lived. I only realise now how much I looked towards him; to check if he was alive, about a decision, anything really. It was sad and lonely but I know he's in a better place.

Friday:I had my good bye dinner. It was all very emotional. Konstantin's girlfriend caused yet another scene as he was giving me too much attention so they ate dinner by themselves in his room. They got me a present of a book with beautiful photos of Freiburg. I'm going to miss my WG gang but they've all promised to visit. I really hope they do! I told Tommy about the short story that I wrote and he started to cry at the synopsis. Man, I'm good.

Saturday: Brought all my clothes that I can't bring back with me to the Red Cross. The women there are getting a little suspicious of me. Sorta like I'm stealing the clothes, feeling bad about it and then giving them to charity. Oh well. I cleaned up my room, arranged another appointment with my housemeister, went to Vauban; the most environment friendly place in Europe (And the most boring), ate ice cream and went to every bakery I came across. That evening I went out for drinks with my Creative Writing class. They're fun...a little pretentious but aren't we all? Then we went to my Bavarian rapper. I paid €4 in. It was terrifying but wonderful. They rapped about love, girlfriends, the holocaust and other...entertaining...issues. It was terrible but wonderful. I was scared but amazed. It was the best €4 I have ever spent.

Sunday: My final hours in Freiburg involved cleaning my room, hugging Tiffanj and trying to wake up the boys to say good bye. I went down to the dumpster to put more rubbish in. As I entered the dumpster room I saw that all the things I had thrown away the day before were lined up in rows. My things were organised by their purpose; toiletries, clothes, paper etc all had their own little section. The worrying thing is that I had thrown all these things into their respective bins and right into the middle. That means the lucky person who took them out had to climb into these gargantuan bins, go right into the middle of them and dig. Seeing all my things lined up was terrifying so I through away the old rubbish, put away some of the rubbish I wished wasn't lined up, get my bags, locked up my room and went to the train station an hour early. It's truly upsetting to see something like that. Especially when your old Penneys underwear is lined up by colour. The train, bus and flight home went smoothly even though I woke up twice on the plane with a jump and gasp as I thought I was still on the train. The woman next to me knew I was crazy...She wasn't far off.

Now I'm back home and happy. I still feel as though I haven't landed but that may take time. This year was fantastic and I will never forget this up close and personal experience with Germany. I plan to go back there in the next year but for the time being I never want to hear a German word again...just for awhile!

Thank you everyone for all your support during the year; from the people who encouraged me to go to the people who tried stopping me. Freiburg will always remain so close to my heart but it was your on going support, cards, texts and emails that really kept me going!

Signing off for the foreseeable future as,

Frau Helen

xxx

Last Blog For The Time Being

Hey there,

I wanted to write my second last blog. Tomorrow will be one of the saddest days of my life. Tomorrow I must part with my modem and therefore my internet. I will not have internet for the remainder of my stay in Freiburg. I'm not too sure how I'll cope. I have prepared myself by procuring a copy of David Copperfield. I'm hoping that 905 pages will keep me as entertained and as uptodate as the internet does. I pity the man who has to wrench the modem from my fingers. Life in Freiburg is complicated at the moment. Seemingly, it's impossible just to up and leave a country. There's more too it. A lot of forms and queues. I'm getting there slowly and if I don't finish filling out the forms I plan running back to Ireland without them noticing.

Konstantin is now officially back with his girlfriend. She's already whipped him into shape. He was the most enthusiastic of my flatmates for the themed BBQs however yesterday his tone suddenly changed. Konnie upset Tommy so much that Tommy cancelled the BBQ. Konnie went out on a bit of a rant/tangent. During which Konnie's girlfriend was standing beside him the whole time nodding her head in agreement. He was saying that he didn't want to have motto BBQ, that he didn't want to eat and drink with us every week, there was never anyone new and it was pointless to have these BBQs. The whole time he seemed to regret every word. Then he said we should have just BBQs every week, eat and drink together. So he contradicted himself. The rest of the WG think his girlfriend made him do it. And when Konstantin realised I am leaving next week he got upset, looked plaintively at his girlfreind who glare but still tried to get Tommy to put the BBQ back on. No luck. Konstantin was telling me the other day that his girlfriend told him she only dates "guys with few to no friends and who are easily controlled". Perfect match, it seems. God knows.

I handed in my final essays on Monday, finished my last test today and did my last presentation last week. I am a free woman! Now I get to sit back and relax. Next week I'm taking a block seminare in Creative Writing. Should be easy enough...I'm hoping. Everyday I repack and reweigh my luggage and no matter what I do it never seems to reduce. The room is looking more and more empty, white and sad but I'll be back in my Irish room in no time!

I realised today that I've been buying a brand of toilet paper called "Happyend". I thought I wouldn't care about the terribly translated English names and phrases over here. Turns out Germany still has its charm

I'm having an epic day of cleaning tomorrow. I have my final check with my Hausmeister on Thursday so I need to have everything spik'n'span. This involves cleaning the floors, the kitchen, the bathroom, the window, my wardrobe inside and out, repainting the walls where my posters ripped off the paint, the door and my mirror. And a lot a dusting here and there. I plan enticing the animals of The Black Forest to come and help me!

Well, this is goodbye for German blogging. I will post another blog about my final days in Freiburg once I am settled back into my familiar environment of Dublin. I hope the blogs haven't been too tedious. Until the next blog...tschüss

More...

I spent my day clearing out my room and making up a box for the next UCD student coming here for an Erasmus. I had decorated all the walls with anything I could find so that it was a little more home like rather than the white cube I arrived to. Now it's back to the hideous white cell look but I had to do it so my Hausmeister can inspect it next week! I can't believe I'm leaving here in 15 days. It's honestly crazy how fast time has flown.

I don't really have much news. The last time I was in Ireland I clocked a guy at the airport in Germany as he was so beautifully nerdy. He was on my bus back to my house and then I forgot all about him. On my way back to Germany he was on my flight again, on my train, on my bus, on my tram, got off at my stop and walked into the same place that I live. I presumed he was stalking me now. However he disappeared and I didn't think of him since. Yesterday a friend I hadn't heard from in ages sent me a comment on Facebook and HE was in her profile picture with her! Odd. Last night I went to see Bruno with a few friends. My friend said his friend Jonas was coming along too. Guess who it was. Yes, my stalker. We sat beside each other at the film, went for drinks with everyone after the film and is the nicest stalker I've ever had. He's so sweet and pulls at his shirt sleeves when he's talking to you. Today he added me on Facebook. I think a beautiful friendship is beginning.

I finished my final essay yesterday so now I'm free to do all the things I've wanted to do but hadn't gotten the chance to. I want to go on the trams to all their final destinations. I did it today for one tram and I stayed on for so long I ended up in the middle of nowhere in the tram terminal. The driver shouted at me and I had to walk for ten minutes down the tram lines. I had that feeling that I'd be killed by a tram and because of my location my death would definitely have been registered as a suicide as no one was to be seen for miles. Just tram tracks. I've been to three end stops so I've about 6 more to go or something. Then I need to think of all the other things I wanted to do before I leave which I have forgotten.

I have a face mask on and now it's starting to burn so I believe that's my cue to sign off.

Just an Update

Hello there,

Things are slowly wrapping up here in Freiburg. I've written a huge list of all the things I have to do in order to depart the country from going to the end stop of every tram, closing down my bank account and convincing Konstantin that he still wants to adopt Pharaoh.

I've been writing essays all the time so I don't have too much interesting news to comment on. As you know every week we have a themed BBQ and this week was "Cartoons". I decided to dress up as Little Red Riding Hood. The other costumes were Pippi Longstocking, The Ghostbusters, Mickey and Minnie Mouse. There's always too much food and the night usually finishes with the bursting out of costumes. This time however we were dancing around our tiny balcony to the greatest hits of Michael Jackson (God Bless his white cotton socks). I found out that I only know 7-10 words of 4 of his greatest hits. Clearly, I wasn't much of a fan. The BBQ brought with it Konstantin's (was ex now present) girlfriend who has the face of a disdainful spade. I personally don't like her because;

1) I was going to dress up as Minnie and she stole my costume

2) She told Konnie that she only dates boys who have little to no friends and that are easily controlled...The message is yet to hit home to him

3)She thinks that I'm trying to seduce Konstantin and run away with him. Little does she know that Konstantin has seen me in the morning and eating.

4)She talks about me in German and when Konstantin reminds her that I understand she says I don't. She's a smart one.

The costume thieving spade was at the BBQ last night dressed as Minnie Mouse. I baked a cake in the shape of Mickey Mouse and she accused Konnie of cheating on her with me. The reason; I baked a cake of Mickey Mouse and he was dressed as Mickey Mouse. Ah yes, the Irish courting ritual of baking a cake in the present appearance of the loved one. I cheered myself up though by laughing to myself as she ate. She eats teenie-tiny bites, nose wiggling, darting little eyes and holding her hand up to her face all the time in other words like a mouse. She is Minnie Mouse incarnate. Needless to say I was thrilled. She also squeaks like a mouse if a favourite song of hers comes onto the radio. The list of comparisons is endless. Konnie says that they're not really going out and that she isn't staying around. Little does he know that the mouse is burying a nest back into our flat. I plan setting traps.

In other news Carlo is in flying form. For the past few weeks he has been talking about Sharon. Sharon loves me. Sharon misses me he's sure. I've played along and pretended I know what on earth he is talking about thinking that he was referring to Paolo. A private joke that I have not been let in on. Finally, I asked him who Sharon was. My question was met with hysterical laughter "You have forgotten them so soon! How could you?! You are a bad girl! He's waiting for you in Ireland and you don't even know he's there". Ah yes, Sharon...my boyfriend Ciarán. Carlo and I spent an entire afternoon learning English phonology. Sharon is no longer part of my life, Key-arrr-own is. We're getting there slowly.

News Flash!

I've been calling Alburna the wrong name. Her name is...*drumroll*..Albane.

That's right Albane from Albania.

It's been a good day

Stuff and Fluff

Hello there,

Well I've actually been doing a lot of things since I last wrote a blog. Since it's been such a long time since I wrote I've forgotten most of what I have done but that's life and I'm sure you're all glad the blog won't be of the epic sort.

I've been researching and writing all my essays and yet I've only completed one. It's an arduous battle against the wonders of the internet entertaining me and trying to write these essays. I took to locking myself in the library but after a while I decided I had a "feeling" about the library so now I can't study there. Yes, it's all in my head but I'm pretty pleased I don't have to sit in a dark room, surrounded by forgotten books, written by dead, boring people and listening to people who refuse to use to tissue and snort and exhale through their noses. The essays have suffered with my absence from the library but I'm lying to myself and I'll telling me I'm making progress!

The WG(the inhabitants of the flat I live in) now have started having BBQs every Wednesday. We usually have a theme to it. Last week, we dressed up rockabilly style and played the hits of Elvis, The Baseballs and all that sorta jazz...or should I say Rockabilly. I make a different dessert for each BBQ and I'm baking quite a bit over here. The boys (and girls) think it is because I'm generous and I want to be nice. In actual fact, I bake so much because I can't buy a box for half a dozen eggs. So to prevent them from going off before I use them I bake a cake. I'm teaching Kaelyn how to cook too. We've covered righteous mac and cheese and burgers and chips. She's a keen learner but prefers washing up more than cooking which is a bit difficult when the spoon you were using disappears while cooking as she's cleaning it. We're learning slowly.

I jumped up to Berlin for the weekend on the 18th of June to see Clair. It was so cool to be back in Berlin and with Clair. We mainly slept, ate and watched Disney movies. It was the perfect weekend. I headbutted a huge man in a club at least twice my height (I exaggerate a little) by accident but he took it pretty well as I'm still alive to tell the story! But yes, Berlin was awesome.

That's pretty much all my news. The eggs go off tomorrow so I'm off to bake a cake!

The new girl

Alburna from Albania and I have been getting on rather well regardless of the grand canyon of a language barrier that stands between us. She's been here months now and yesterday she called me "Tiffanj", naturally I didn't respond as that's not my name. After she tugged at my dress, I realised that she was talking to me about the Italian girl, Helen. I told her that I was Helen and I'm Irish and that Tiffanj is Italian and the girl who lives next to me. She told me I wasn't. After a lot of pointing, saying my name and generally trying to make her understand, she got Konstantin out of his room to identify me. Konstantin and I have been working on humour and sarcasm. Today, all my work backfired on me. She asked him if I was Tiffanj to which he laughed and said yes. I could have strangled him as now Alburna from Albania thinks I'm a bitch. She left the room with a confused and somewhat hurt face. After glaring at Konstantin, I got him to go to her room and identify me as me. Things are a little difficult at the moment.

Things seem to be disappearing.

Today was one of those uneventful days but I seemingly have lost a few things. I bought hollandaise sauce for the 6 asparagus that I picked out, weighed, got the price for and put in my basket. I never saw them again.

Then I went to my local post office. After a little walk with the threat of rain I walked up to where the door of my post office is and it was gone. Not like it changed hands of business, I mean the entire building was gone. I stood there stunned and in retrospect looking rather stupid as I looked around to see if the post office building may have just moved somewhere else. There was no sign, no indication to why or where the post office building had moved.

I've lost the pen I was writing with somewhere on my clear desk.

Today has a great sense of absence.

Busy three weeks

Hello there,

Haven't written here in some time. The chocolate thief has been identified...Konstantin. I found a note in my fridge beside a bar of very good Swiss chocolate; "I'm sorry!!! :-) Here some little replacement for you. Konstantin." It transpires that he had only taken three pieces but my note upset him so he bought chocolate to replace it so there is another unidentified thief in the flat.

Ciarán came over to see me on the 28th of May. We went rowing in Titisee which was lovely, I rowed first and then he took over. After a minute or two of the boat spinning around in circles I asked if he had ever rowed before, he hadn't. For the next half an hour, I was cox of the boat and shouted instructions at him. After that he turned out to be a very good little rower. I think when I grow up I'll have a little row boat and a medium sized lake to row around. The weather was more than beautiful, smothered in factor 50, Ciarán and I sat out for little picnics on all the days.

Mags (the Godmother) and her sister,

Brid came over on Thursday(4th of June). Konstantin has no idea what a god mother is so he spent his week and the weekend praising the "GOTTES MUTTER" and praying to her. It was a lovely weekend of sunshine, a bit of rain and lots of good food. They spoilt me rotten which was really good of them. I needn't eat ever again. They're hilarious fun to be around and really nice to travel with. We went up to St.Peter on the Saturday. The closer we got to it the more rain came down. We took refuge in the beautiful cathedral which is white, red and gold on the inside. On the way back we had a very enthusiastic bus driver on the way back who was clearly a local and knew everyone and that we were definitely not from Freiburg. His running commentary on the bus intercom about us and various things that caught his attention added to the trip. On saturday evening we saw 20 Polizei vans that blocked off Kaiser-Josef strasse and all exits off it. We still have no idea why as we walked to the Munster for mass, we entered the platz and were confronted by at least 200 armed police people. Terrify

ing, a little. Feeling that you're walking into the wrong place and at the time, BIG chance. After, the awe inspiring mass with incredible organ playing, we came out and every sign of police presence had disappeared! Thanks to Mags and Brid, I had a lovely weekend and got to see plac

es of Freiburg, I didn't know existed!

It has been a busy few weeks but I needed to see the people I miss. Ireland is a stone throw away but seeing the people that

you love and miss really makes the difference.

The Dairy Milk

I don't mind people taking a little milk from my carton but today someone in my flat went a bridge too far. Donál was here this weekend (Slight digression; we had an awesome time and even went rowing. Thanks Donál for such a good weekend!)and brought me over a huge bar of Dairy Milk. The joy in my heart told me to cherish this and to savour every piece. I took 5 pieces on Tuesday, put it in the fridge and got up this morning to find the packet ripped down the middle and at least 20 pieces missing. Some fiend STOLE my Dairy Milk. You'd think this wouldn't be a big deal but that was not a bar of Milka, it was not a bar of Ritter Sport, it was a bar of Dairy Milk. I am now searching for the culprit and I plan to cause great harm to them and show no mercy. I will show them the same amount of mercy that they showed my Dairy Milk...none. To save the rest of the chocolate I have put it into a Ziplock with a note as seen attached. I think the message is clear. I hope they all fear for their lives. 

New Problem

I saw Alburna this morning. I think I saw her. The new problem is...I can't remember what she looks like. I need to take polaroid photos and stick them to myself. That'd help.

We've got it!

The new flatmate's name is *drumroll* Alburna. She's is from Albania. 

Alburna from Albania. 

I don't think I will ever be able to forget her name ever again. 

My new flatmate

Day 2 in Haus 40 with the new flatmate:

I was introduced to my new flatmate who has replaced Daniel. She speaks no English and my German is well, terrible. Her name is unknown to me. I had to ask her to repeat her name three times before I got anyway near to understanding 1) what she was saying and 2) what her name is. I think her name is something like Al-Burno/a. Things are getting awkward. She's not very chatty either so I haven't figured out where she's from either. I conceal the fact that I don't know her name by saying "Hey there, Hey you etc" and that seems to have covered up that little problem. However, I don't want the rest of the flat to know I have no idea who this girl is so I jokingly saying "our new roomies, the new girl on the block etc" in hope that they might just utter her name. So far, no one has. This leads me to the conclusion that no one knows her name and we're all doing them same thing. 

Time will tell!

Helen is getting a little emotional

I booked my flight, one way back to Dublin on the 26th of July, bought my train ticket too. Donál is arriving on Friday so I'm making everything spick and span for his arrival. I cleaned Pharaoh just there. He was swimming around his make shift tank (a lunch box) while I cleaned his toys (a kinder egg Hello Kitty on a dolphin's back and a few big beads) I realised that on the 26th of July I will be leaving Pharaoh behind in Germany...forever. This thought would not affect most people but as I placed him back in his bowl and let him swim and play around my finger I got a little emotional. He's a real happy guy, greets me every morning with such enthusiasm that he'd give a dog at dinner time a run for it's money, he is that reliable man in my German life as I fall asleep he tosses about pebbles just to let me know he's there and taking guard of the room while I sleep. He is very curious in nature and loves meeting new people. I bought him a water plant which he loves very much, it took him at least 30 seconds to notice it was there as he was swimming up at the bowl, kissing the glass as I was standing next to it. Every morning when I give him his meal of the day he wiggles and swurls looking up at me just to say "good morning, I recognise you...(dare I say it), Mom". So he does this recognition dance to almost anyone he sees but it's special. He's a special fish. Ryanair refuses any pet on board. They allow smoked fish but not talented, young fish like Pharaoh on board the aircraft. I will miss him.

Salzburg - A Very long Blog

I texted Mum two weeks ago to ask if she'd like to go to Salzburg with me. I expected a negative response but to my surprise I got a "yes". I went about plans researching and running around like a headless chicken trying to organise myself. I went to Deutsche Bahn to ask for my ticket. The earliest I could arrive into Salzburg was 12.54p.m. That was ok however that meant I had to get up at 5 a.m. and then face a 6.5hour journey to Salzburg with 3 changes. 

Saturday: I was pretty much dead to the world once I got up at 5a.m. but there was an amazing bird morning chorus which I had never heard before...obviously as I am never up at 5.a.m in the mornin

g! I had the pleasure of bumping into every drunk teenager on the way to the train station as their night out was only just ending. I manage the three train changes pretty well. I was very short on time when I was changing 

onto my Munich train. I 

was running along the underground to my platform, my bag was bouncing about a little, it 

felt lighter and lighther. I turned around to notice that the e-n-t-i-r-e contents of my bag was all over the floor; knickers, shoes, clothes, you name it was on the floor. A man bent down to pick up my clothes and jumped away from a pair of frilly knickers that he was about to pick up but he somehow managed to muster up some courage and pick them up and hand them out to me with a scarlet face. On my final train a man began talking (in German) to 

me. To my great surprise 

I could reply and we 

talked for about two hours. He seemed nice and interested in what I was saying in my broken German. However I caught him staring down my top too many times to really believe he was truly interested in what I was saying. He somehow thought Mum was Austrian and that she refused to speak to me in German. He thought it was a great shame and my German was pretty good considering. I blame my terrible German for that misunderstanding. We saw the Untersberg mountain as the train. It is impossible not to burst into song when you see Salzburg. The entire Sound of Music soundtrack will play through your head the entire time you are there. When we got to Salzburg hauptbahnhof he shook my hand, one more quick look down my top and he departed.

I looked frantically around for Mum at the train station and finally caught a glimpse of her back and ran towards her. Learning from earlier I had fastened my bag a little better so all my belongings didn't go flying out everywhere. Mum turned around during my run towards her *Slow motion shot*. There were squeels of joy and happiness which captured the attention of the Austrians but no bother sure. We headed off to find our hotel, the room wasn't ready so our room was changed. We ended up in an apartment with a balcony and a small kitchenette, rather fancy really. We decided to go on a Panorama tour of Salzburg, a fresh face good looking Austrian man called Andreas drove us around Salzburg along with two German couples and an American girl. We saw some of the sights where the Sound of Music was filmed, got a brief history of Salzburg and a witty commentary of everything as we drove past. Salzburg is an extradinary city, it is beoynd beautiful and there is so much history with it too. After the tour we finally had our bearings so we had a walk around and had dinner outside on the square where the Baroque catherdral is. Mum and I had an early start so we went to bed early, I don't remember even closing my eyes to try and sleep, my next memory is being woken up in the morning. 

SUNDAY: We had breakfast on the balcony in the blazing sun. Contary to the weather report it was sunny and hot not rainy and full of thunder storms. Today was a big day for me. We were going to go on The Sound Of Music bus tour! We arrived at the bus which is covered head to toe with painted pictures of The Sound of Music. We had a fabulous and flaming tour guide who made the tour unforgettable. After seeing most the sights of the film we went through mountains driving to the church in which Maria and the Baron get married in as we drove their he played The Sound of Music soundtrack so we could all sing along as the bus drove. Sounds awful doesn't it? It was WONDERFUL! I got a free drink because I answered a question about the film correctly, well Mum said the answer and nudged me to say it so it was a joint victory! We had Streudel outside the infamous church which hot vanilla sauce and ice-cream, a local delicacy. Once the tour sadly ended Mum and I explored all the churches and graveyards we came across on our travels. We went up into the mountain where there was a hidden catacomb. It was really cold and refreshing in there and it had a beautiful big altar carved out of the mountain in the catacomb. We ended up in the famous Sacher Hotel Cafe where the Sacher Torte was invented and is still served there for extortionate prices but it still looks delightful! The cafe is right beside the river which is incredibly strong, I watched the tour barge spin around and around in circles as they were trying to anchor. It was full of tourists, hilarious for me to watch but I'm sure terrifying if you were onborad. We went to a local restaurant that night and then went up to the top of the Stein Hotel which has a beautiful view over the city. The city is lit with very subtle flood lights, all the churches are lit up. We drank some white wine - gesprizt as we gazed over the river.

Monday: We had breakfast again on the balcony, it was roasting before 10.a.m so we decided it'd be better if

we took things slow today. We got a lift up to the modern art museum which is on top on a hill, it was closed. Nevertheless it has a beautiful view of the city. We walked up and around there and came across the original city walls and watch towers. There view was truely phenominal from the top of the hill. We saw a small market from the top of the hill at the Baroque church so we decided we'd go there after Mum and I had a bowl of Spargelsuppe (Asparagus soup) at the hilltop cafe which had a panoramic view of the city! We went to the little market and picked up food for the journey home. Then sadly we walked to the train station. I had an hour to wait while Mum had 20 minutes. We said our goodbyes (Mum wouldn't let me go to the platform with her) so then we went our separate ways. I sat on a bench staring at my feet. It was the same feeling that I had when I watched Mum drive off in the tram the first time I arrived in Freiburg. I waited the clock tick away the time until Mum's train left. Then as the weather forecast had promised it rained. Damn you pathetic fallacy! The train ride was pretty uneventful; some children were playing on the train tracks so we were delayed by 1/2 an hour but I got all my connections and got home safe and sound.

Salzburg was amazing but I don't think I would have had as good a time than I did if Mum wasn't there. She really made the trip so special and she's hilarious fun to be with especially when faced with the wild and wonderful ways of another country. It was wonderful to have her with me, she made the holiday! 

Thanks Mama xx

The day of the crazy men!

So today was a little eventful. It was so gorgeous and sunny that it unleashed the crazies of Freiburg. Firstly I got a shouting phonecall and then I met a man on the tram.

The man on the tram (and title of my new book) shouted in a satanic voice about Hitler, his father and the tram. He then went on to sing Wonderwall by Oasis in this satanic, impending doom voice. A rendition of that song I never want to hear again. I then ran around the tram grabbing men's arms and shouting incomprehensible German and English. I don't know why but some of the craziest of German speak the best of English. He was thrown off the tram at my stop. I ran away quickly but fortunaatly there were girls in hot pants which were far more interesting than me...thank goodness. I can still hear him shouting at the tram stop in my bedroom with the window closed. I'm locking the door tonight.

The phonecall was worrying but at least my biceps were not at risk of being squeezed. My phone rang and I'm all like "oh it's Clair!" *answers* "Hello Lova-Bubbles!" AND A MAN ANSWERS ME BACK! He starts gushing out this really quick German and I say "langsam bitte" and he starts saying "ICH KOMME, ICH KOMME JETZT!" and I'm like..."WAS?! Ich habe etwas Deutsche, Sprecken Sie Englisch" and he says "oh..ja...I COME, I COME NOW! OK?". So I say "OK" and I hung up and now I was sitting in my room all scurred and alone, jumping when I hear the doors opening and closing!

Beautiful weather though!

Breakfast with Tiffani

Tiffani and I sit down to breakfast every morning. It's wonderful. The boys look at us like we've two heads; I suppose it is incomprehensible that two people that live together might want keep each other company. We discuss many things over breakfast but recently our conversation has turned to sport. We're going to go jogging, to a fitness class and swimming together. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? Unfortunatley I now have to secretly go into training so that I won't pass out during any of these adventures. Tiffani is built to excercise whereas I'm built...to...survive the winter. It'll be an interesting experience but it's one way of passing the time...or slowing it down. We'll see how the first jogging session goes!

The perfect essay

I wrote a perfect essay for my How to Read Images class. It is "immpeccable" notes the lecturer her graded it however she also believes that I downloaded it from somewhere on the internet and did not write it myself. I had to visit her in her office hours to find out my grade (unlike everyone else in the class). 

She sat there saying: "it's so perfect, impeccable..but without a doubt not right...perhaps plagirised *pauses so that I have time to confess that I in fact did download it from some unknown source*...it was perfect, I was so surprised how perfect it was....not a bad surprise...but not too good either. I didn't expect such a good essay from anyone in my class...*another dramatic waiting for Helen's confession pause"

Me: Well, I dunno what you're getting at but I wrote the entire thing by myself and quite frankly I'm highly insulted that you have such little faith in me as a student

Lecturer: *concerned faced* oh no I had full faith in you..

Me: to plagirise my essay...wonderful. I followed your instructions for the essay as I wasn't too sure to go about it.

Lecturer: *face lights up like she's been awarded a prize* You followed my instructions, I knew they''d be helpful to my students

Me: Even the ones who pladgirised?

Lecturer: *realising that she is fighting a battle she is about to lose* you're such a pleasure to teach, I know I've said it to you before but there's no harm in repeating it. Now for your grade, 1.0 (the perfect grade in German Uni). But, I feel as though you didn't do so well in your mid-term

Me: We didn't have a midterm

Lecturer: Did you do a presentation?

Me: Yes. 

Lecturer: Oh good, hmmm I don't think it was as good as the essay so for the course I'll give you 1.3. But the essay is still perfect.

Me: Oh I know

Lecturer: Good, I hope you will pop into me and we can have a little chat about how you're getting on or anyhting you like, that'd be nice. 

Me: I highly doubt that *exeunt*

I loathe that woman. 

Shiv's Visit

Shiv came over this weekend. It was epic. The hotel where Shiv stayed is the same one Beast, Mum and TK stayed in. The owner has met my entire family now. He even asked for Theia. Shiv spoiled me rotten. She bought me shoes...shoes! 

We went to the imfamous Titisee and had a picnic there. Being Irish and optimistic we didn't pack any cardies. Therefore we frozed everytime the roasting sun went behind a cl

oud. Titisee is a pretty as ever. There are little peddle-os for going around the lake now. We got our photo taken with a sea captain. He could have been 

anything but 

he was wearing a captain's hat so that was good enough for us!

 I took Shiv to Feierling that night and she 

tasted the butterb

eer...mmm butterbeer. Our waitress seemed to be on something or was missing part of her brain. She forgot our beers and our 

orders so there was a lot of confusion. I ordered ravioli which she told me they didn't have. I was 

fine with that as I thought making her life anymore difficult than it already was was a bad idea. So I saidthat was fine and I'd have the 

potatoe dish Shiv was

 having. After a little wait our dinner 

arrived...two bowls of 

ravioli and salad. God knows. We 

decided maybe we'd go for a cocktail before heading home. We to

ok down a table and set it up outside with all the other tables at Aspekt. We soon learned that *put on most steroetypical German accent* "this is not allowed". After being moved to another table after being given out to in an I-tell-you-you-are-wrong-I-am-right-apologetic-typically-german-way  we were ignored by said waitress and left. Not a night for waitresses needless to say.

On Saturday we 

went to Lake Konstanz. It is simply gorgeous. There is a spinning prostitute, true story. She is semi-naked and spins. Only in Germany. We saw a walking band who were dressed like Normans with helmets of tin in the scorching weather. We dowsed ourselves in factor 50 sunblock and removed any clothing possible. We got to go on a boat trip which was a 

glorified ferry but brilliant fun. The wind 

from the boat and the 

skirt of my dress 

did not agree with each other. Charming. You could see the Alps as you sailed around the lake. They looked beautiful. Shiv re-enacted Titanic's "I'm flying Jack, I'm flying!" moment at the front of the boat. 

It was 25c+ at the lake so for our Irish skin it was roasting! People are still wrapped up in their winter things in this heat. It is bizzare. We had to take three trains to get to Konstanz; Shiv slept on all three. Amazing really, due to the amount of caffeine in her system! It was a long day but we covered pretty much all the top ten things to do in Konstanz. Later that night, I took her to the student district and we had cocktails...lots and were home in bed by 12. 

Shiv left today. I am all alone but she stole painted hard-boiled eggs for me from the hotel so I guess I'll survive and I have my strawberry plants to talk to. All in all it was awesome having Shiv and completing the Happy Families game that the hotel owner was playing with my family.

I miss having noise. The flat is quite again and I am trumpeting about alone. Company will arrive soon until then I can catch up with Pharoah and get to know the Strawberries better. 

*Clair*

Here's a slightly pointless blog but nevertheless.

No one calls my landline. Why would they I have a mobile which they text to.

Things have changed. 

Clair calls me now. And has done twice. Once to talk to me, the other time went like this; The phone never rings so when it does I quite naturally assume it's a murderer calling to tell me how long I have to live. But no it's Clair saying that she wanted to freak me out by calling me...well, it worked.

Anyway, the reason I wrote this blog was to...tell you Clair rang me. What? It's big news for me! I plan finding out how much it is to call Berlin. 

A new adventure for Clair and I. There's us on one of our last adventures. 

Over and out. 

I'm back!

Daniel: "Helen! You are first girl to go and last girl to come back! But you come back looking like a super model". The picture to your left is how little of a super model I look and how confused I was by that comment*

But yes! I am back. It is ROASTING in this country. I have taken off as much clothing to retain some dignity while the Germans are walking around with their wintercoats on. The trees are green, there's daisies everywhere, the birds are singing and you can hear German rqap music seeping out of every window as you pass. All in all, everyone is over the winter blues and are feeling the springtime buzz! 

Pharoah is alive and happy. The boys hadn't cleaned him for some time so I had to buy new pebbles to go in his bowl as they were almost a black-green colour and refused to be washed. The shamrock I brought over to them is still alive and watered. Tiffani bought an Italian flag to go along with our German, Greek and Irish flag on the balcony. 

I sat on my balcony earlier eating strawberries and rasberries and reading The Scarlet Letter(which I have to finish before newt week...unlikely). Classes went well. I can't really complain. I'm sure with time I'll conjure up something to complain about. 

Apart from feeling like a Sunday roast walking around Freiburg I feel good. It's nice to be back!

I'll fill you in when I've news. Until then I sweatily sign out...

*Photo taken 10minutes after comment

Itsa Girl

As some of you know Theia and I went off to Freiburg a while back now. We had great fun and pretty much ate for every hour in every day. It was the sorta holiday you only dream about and one that your waist line will never forget! 

Anyway, the holiday was great but got even better when I was given some marvellous news from my letter box! I walked past Ian's room nd noticed that there was a blue duvet cover on his bed; a little odd as Ian like to live in a sterile. little white room normally. I went down in my ghetto-vator and went to my postbox with Theia. As I retreived my junk mail (which I use as wall paper) I noted something odd. Ian's letter box is below mine and we have our names printed on them. However, I did not see Ian's name but TIFFANI REGINATO. My immediate reaction was screaming with confusion. Theia and I then went out for our day; throughout the day I let out little screams of joy. We get home, I walk into the kitchen and before me stood a girl. I was shocked, she introduced herself, I think I mumbled something about being Helen and she beamed and went "oh you're my next door neighbour". I threw myself down at her feet and wrapped my arms around her legs in joy (a slight exaggeration). She is L-O-V-E-L-Y! 

I asked Konstantin (<3)>

So basically my news is IAN IS GONE AND TIFFANI IS HERE TO STAY!

(oh and Pharoah is still alive!)

Well you may have guessed I'm home!

Hello there, 

Just a little blog to commemorate my journey back to Dublin. Ciarán came over to visit me and Carnival was on so we got to see Germans in dressed up in ridiculous outfits and running around like maniacs. All I could think of was the hassle I got when I suggested dressing up for Halloween as it is a "childish" thing to do. Clearly, Germans are hypocrites! 

Anyhow, we had a wonderful weekend of Carnival madness. Paolo cooked me a good bye meal f Italian pizzas which was a messy job but they sure did taste good! 

When packing to go home I realised I had no room at all in my bag for clothes. So the obvious thing to do was to wear all my clothes at once. So I put on two dresses, a piar of boots,  one skirt, jeans, boots, socks, tights (which was a bit unneccessary). one t-shirt, one jumper, a coat, scarf and hat. Oh and two bras, they just didn;t fit in my bag. Oh and I should probably mention that one of the bras was a after thought so it was over one of the dresses. I looked awesome needless to say. Or like some bag woman but that's debatable. 

Anyway, we made our journey to the airport on an ICE train which is heaven on rails. Got to the airport, Ciarán checked in and off we went to the metal detectors. Of course, I set off the metal detectors. Of course, one of my bras set off the metal detector, of course due to decency of German I was taken into the strip-search room where a woman got to watch me take off two dresses, one t shirt, one jumper, one skirt, one bra, my boots and socks. At this point I refused to take of anymore clothes as it was like a circus act. Once she decided my bra was not as dangerous as it seemed so allowed me go...on one condition, that I put on all my clothes again. tedious but hilarious. This time though she didn't watch me like a hawk but turned her back...not like she had seen everything already.

Sometimes I feel as though only these things ever happen to me...

The Girls

My UCD girls came to Freiburg (cue girlish screams of joy). This weekend was too wonderful! No tears only toned stomach muscles from all the laughter. We danced, ate, sang, ate, ate, dressed up, ate, played in snow, ate, had hot chocolate, ate, saw nice buildings with shutters, ate, went sledging, ate, screamed hysterically at the smallest of things, ate, petrified my room mates, ate and cook a LOT of mac+cheese. Honestly, one of the best weekends of my life! Here's a photo account of the weekend!

The Stolen Bus Story

We're Famous! Our Milan bus story has already made the paper!

http://www.badische-zeitung.de/freiburg/dieb-stiehlt-avanti-reisebus-samt-schlafender-fahrerin

Milan - Book Well In Advance

This is long story which I will share with you on some sort of abbreviated level. We booked our tickets to Milan the Monday before we left. It was a good idea then.

Saturday Morning 4.45 a.m: I get up to get ready for my 6 hour bus drive to Milan. I put on nice clothes (it is Milan afterall), feed the fish and I get a message from Jude saying she may not make the bus. Jude had everyone's tickets. I give her a hearty talking to and then she thinks she will make it. Christie is late, Brita and Ola are late but we finally meet up outside the Opera House. There's a bus there, "Avanti- Freiburg to Shanghai". We guessed it wasn't for us and after how they drove us to Milan, we were very glad that we weren't going to Shanghai. The drive down was amazing, we saw the Alps in all their glorious splendour (I tried singing the Toblerone ad as I saw them) and went through that big ol' special tunnel that people seemed pretty impressed by but it was just like every other tunnel I've seen. I can't sleep much on buses so I stayed awake until we were ten minutes away from our drop off point in Milan, Nice move. Milan is beautiful, expensive and pretty inaccessible!

The Last Supper: We didn't book tickets to The Last Supper as we presumed that at this time of year there wouldn't be many crowds. Turns out you have to book one month in advance no matter what time of year and even if there is or there is not any crowds. We tried everything. I was an art history teacher with her students, they had "lost" our booking, we tried walking in with a tour but they were pretty used to these sort of things so we were caught out. So we did the next best thing; we took photos of posters, postcards, glass cuttings, "ivory" statues and rosary beads of The Last Supper and photos of us looking sad outside the building. Then we decided to go back into the ticket office and we took our photo beside big posters of the painting and the not irratewoman who wouldn't let us in, it was her fault really.


Duomo Di Milano: I should probably mention that we at foccacia before we saw this and drank good Italian coffee. The Duomo is just magnificent! The mind that conjured up such a work of art was definitely insane or some sort of divine interception cut through his wave length. The inside has mummified people...what's not to love...I avoided those ones. We paid the costly €8 and went up in the lift to walk in the flying buttresses (which Jude didn't believe was the real word for them) and then we got to walk on the roof of the Duomo. I have walked on the roof of a cathedral! There was a huge screen in the plazza below showing the 6 Nations Italy vs. England match. So Jude and I gave our encouragement to the Italian team from the cathedral roof!

The Da Vinci Technical Museum: A rainstorm started and it rained, and it rained, it stopped and rained more. We decided the only way to get away from it was to eat ice-cream which we did. I heart Italian ice-cream. We looked through the tour book and saw the Da Vinci museum as we hadn't seen The Last Supper(we decided it was probably overrated) we thought it'd be a good idea to see something of Da Vinci. We walked for an hour in the rain, we wer drowned rats. When Jude and Christie started holding the falling apart map upside down I called off the adventure and we went for cocktails in a fancy bar. The bathroom of the bar however was just a hole in the ground: Jude and Christie had never seen anything like this before and couldn't go near the bathroom thereafter.

The Bus Home: We went for a meal near to where the bus was meant to be, we had ice cream for dessert. We waited for the bus which was 10 minutes late, 20 minutes late, 45 minutes late. So we went for more ice cream as time was running out. Finally the bus arrived but the driver wouldn't let us on. (while we waited for an explanation we ran to a cafe to pass the time out of the rain and watched as our bus pulled away and drove off, Ola and I legged it and caught up with it as she was going pretty slow and turned out to be parking somewhere else)When we got on the bus we waited more. It took half an hour to find out that we were waiting for the police to come. Why? While the driver was sleeping in the seats of the bus, two guys broke in, hot wired the bus and started to drive it away, she woke up at the sound of the engine and realised what was going on. The guys didn't know she was there so when she started yelling and throwing everything at hand they scarperred. The police never arrived and we left. The bus crowd were not the happiest while waiting for the police so Christie and I cracked open a bottle of wine and discussed the matters of the worlsd. I'm pretty sure we sorted out every world problem, the wonders of Italian wine!

I met the driver who was crying in the bathroom at one of our stops along the way. It was a miracle we ever got the bus back as she would normally sleep in the cabin in the under part of the bus, wouldn't have heard the engine and would have woken up wherever those guys were driving. So she was a bit shaky on the road and went pretty slow. So slow she missed the time frame in which you can go down that fancy tunnel in the Alps, meaning we had to take back roads. While the entire bus slept the driver, Ola and me were wide awake. Ola was devising ways of how we'd survive in the snow when/if the bus crashed on the hairpin bends or broke down. Everyone had dressed for the fashionable Milan not the snow. I was preoccupiedwith the wheel below my window, the driver put on the snow wheel things and every 50 metres stopped the bus and had to readjust them. After awhile she started to ignore the wheel which was making unhealthy noises.

The back roads got worse and worse and more and more less like roads but goat trails. Ola fell asleep once we reached Zurich, yeah you must be wondering how we got there...so do we. Jude forgot her insulin so wasn't in the best of form but was fine, Christie my chair buddy kicked, talked, and hugged me in her sleep. The hugging and cuddling I could handle the kicking and speaking in tongues was quite off putting. Finally I passed out due to exhaustion at 7 a.m., we left Milan at 12. I woke up 20 minutes later as Christie had pushed me off my seat. No harm done, she was still fast asleep. I fell asleep again around 8 and slept until Jude shook my foot, I opened my eyes to see a frightened Jude. When I asked why it was because I snarled and growled at her in my sleep when she shook my foot. Served her right.

I got back to my home at 9.45 a.m., 7.5 hours later than I thought and I had left there almost 30 hours ago. My teeth felt like small hamsters, my mascara had become a permanent resident to my face.

What have I learned? Always book in advance, fly first class and leave Milan before you are left there.

Milan is a once in a lifetime thing. You'll only ever want to do it once.

My eventful weekend!

Hello there! I am in agony but I'll come to that later! My weekend was great! It truely opened my eyes.

Friday: I got up super early to go all the way to Bern to see the Alps. So off I went, totally prepared to be overwhelmed by multitude and massivitude of the the Alps. As the train crept closer and closer to Bern the rain started to fall and the mist and fog came with the rain. I was standing a misty Bern ready to kill as you may have guessed the Alps were rather shy with the mist! I went to the tourist office and asked if there was any point to Bern without the Alps and I was sent to see the former orphanage. Well, that sums things up! Bern is actually quite interesting and beautiful. I wandered around and took photos of anything that looked mildy interesting including a staircase in the middle of the street. Bern was unbelievably icy. I slipped on ice and caught myself, then unbalanced, flaying my arms around and around,settled myself rather pleased with myself and then fell right onto my bum! A tourist took a photo and laughed and left me sitting in the ice. I went to an art gallery and saw a feminist exhibition called "We all have AIDs. And we're feminists too!". There were...interesting pictures with scissors and how to use them to free ourselves from men. Oddly enough though, these feminists were actually quite fond of male domination. I think giving them an entire exhibition confused them a little. After 4 and a half hours of sight seeing all I wanted to do was to sit down for hours on end so I went to the cinema. I asked for a ticket for "the next film in English no matter what is it" The girl laughed but then realised I was serious. I got to see "Slumdog Millionaire" which is truely fantastic and deserves every prize it's nominated for! I headed back to the train station and went home truely exhausted! Pity about the Alps. Third times a charm.

Saturday: So after pulling myself out of bed I went off to Feldberg with Carlo, Christie, Brita, Ola and Karina. Brita and Ola decided to teach us all how to snowboard. It turned out Carlo was lying that he had never been snowboarding so they had Chrisite and I to teach. And WHAT a task! Snowboarding is awesome fun but scary as hell. I don't think I'll ever go professional, out of modesty for my talent that is! The thing is with snowboarding is that you get cocky and think you really good when in actual fact you're a complete danger to everything and yourself. I fell and flipped over on my board, and heard my knee crack. No bones broken, Thank goodness but I couldn't move my toes or leg until Christie got me off my board. Then everything worked then so I think it was just the shock. So I've a cool piractical limp now. It looks good and I'm throwing a fancy dress party in two weeks so what perfect timing. While we were on the slope. Christie started shouting and pointing and guess what we saw...THE ALPS!!! They were so clear and beautiful. I was so happy and yet so so SO angry at the same time! We ate something called "Apfelkrapfen" in the skiing restaurant. It was like a danish except deep fried with apple and heart stoppingly covered in custard!

Saturday Evening: We decided that we'd go to a houseparty with Ola and Brita. This was something out of a drugs raid in all the Hollywood movies. The very top of a very old house was this apartment with winding corridors and low ceilings. It was impossible to see much inside as they covered the lights. So I went out and started looking at the stars as the visibility was amazing. I saw Orion (of course), The Big Dipper and the Small dipper! Which was pretty cool. I got talking to a Croatian and an Indian boy. The Indian wasn't interested in the stars so I was left with this Croatian whose name was Thomasslak. He thought I was awesome and that everything I did in life was "hot". I tried escaping three times, got Ola to talk to him, Carlo pretended to be my boyfriend but none of it worked. I gave him a fake number but he rang it while I was standing there, made me take out my phone and ring him. So now a Croatian somewhere in Freiburg has my number and is calling me today so that we can fence, snowboard, play badminton and look at stars together. I dunno how I do this to myself. When I was leaving the party he came out to see me out. Carlo got rid of him and said "You're alright looking in the dark, the light does funny things to you" Thomasslak smiled and said "Thank you very much" Oh dear. Within 5 minutes of leaving the party he had already rung me. Oh good! A new friend!

Sunday (today): I am in COMPLETE agony. I have muscles hurting that I didn't know I had. Pain is my only friend now. But I can't complain. I had a great weekend and got to see the Alps finally and I didn't have to go to Switzerland...again.

Out,
H

Only in Germany!

The Germans take pride in their English language skills and often try correcting what I say which they have failed at as now I have started using fake words and laughing quietly to myself if they say they don't know that word. Which unnerves them to no end. Cruel? Perhaps.

I like to find incorrect spellings around Freiburg which reminds me that Germans are still human and not these grammatically correct robots. I found this sign at Orsay which is a reasonably good clothes shop. You'd almost be able to buy something "nice" there.

German humour is something else! I was at a party last Friday and met two Germans who tried reenacting a British comedy skit. They couldn't start or complete the reenactment as they were in hysterics. I looked up the sketch the next day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh_wygDUrxs
This is it and supposedly the funniest thing to all Germans. It's played every half an hour on New Year's eve on all German channels.

As you all know about Obama's inauguration so did all of Germany. So the Politikparty of the university decided to throw a party to celebrate the big day. They decided to throw a Black and White party, the posters were all over the college. On the poster was a picture of Obama wearing a white shirt and "BLACK AND WHITE PARTY" scrawled across the bottom of the poster. Only in Germany.