The Dairy Milk

I don't mind people taking a little milk from my carton but today someone in my flat went a bridge too far. Donál was here this weekend (Slight digression; we had an awesome time and even went rowing. Thanks Donál for such a good weekend!)and brought me over a huge bar of Dairy Milk. The joy in my heart told me to cherish this and to savour every piece. I took 5 pieces on Tuesday, put it in the fridge and got up this morning to find the packet ripped down the middle and at least 20 pieces missing. Some fiend STOLE my Dairy Milk. You'd think this wouldn't be a big deal but that was not a bar of Milka, it was not a bar of Ritter Sport, it was a bar of Dairy Milk. I am now searching for the culprit and I plan to cause great harm to them and show no mercy. I will show them the same amount of mercy that they showed my Dairy Milk...none. To save the rest of the chocolate I have put it into a Ziplock with a note as seen attached. I think the message is clear. I hope they all fear for their lives. 

New Problem

I saw Alburna this morning. I think I saw her. The new problem is...I can't remember what she looks like. I need to take polaroid photos and stick them to myself. That'd help.

We've got it!

The new flatmate's name is *drumroll* Alburna. She's is from Albania. 

Alburna from Albania. 

I don't think I will ever be able to forget her name ever again. 

My new flatmate

Day 2 in Haus 40 with the new flatmate:

I was introduced to my new flatmate who has replaced Daniel. She speaks no English and my German is well, terrible. Her name is unknown to me. I had to ask her to repeat her name three times before I got anyway near to understanding 1) what she was saying and 2) what her name is. I think her name is something like Al-Burno/a. Things are getting awkward. She's not very chatty either so I haven't figured out where she's from either. I conceal the fact that I don't know her name by saying "Hey there, Hey you etc" and that seems to have covered up that little problem. However, I don't want the rest of the flat to know I have no idea who this girl is so I jokingly saying "our new roomies, the new girl on the block etc" in hope that they might just utter her name. So far, no one has. This leads me to the conclusion that no one knows her name and we're all doing them same thing. 

Time will tell!

Helen is getting a little emotional

I booked my flight, one way back to Dublin on the 26th of July, bought my train ticket too. Donál is arriving on Friday so I'm making everything spick and span for his arrival. I cleaned Pharaoh just there. He was swimming around his make shift tank (a lunch box) while I cleaned his toys (a kinder egg Hello Kitty on a dolphin's back and a few big beads) I realised that on the 26th of July I will be leaving Pharaoh behind in Germany...forever. This thought would not affect most people but as I placed him back in his bowl and let him swim and play around my finger I got a little emotional. He's a real happy guy, greets me every morning with such enthusiasm that he'd give a dog at dinner time a run for it's money, he is that reliable man in my German life as I fall asleep he tosses about pebbles just to let me know he's there and taking guard of the room while I sleep. He is very curious in nature and loves meeting new people. I bought him a water plant which he loves very much, it took him at least 30 seconds to notice it was there as he was swimming up at the bowl, kissing the glass as I was standing next to it. Every morning when I give him his meal of the day he wiggles and swurls looking up at me just to say "good morning, I recognise you...(dare I say it), Mom". So he does this recognition dance to almost anyone he sees but it's special. He's a special fish. Ryanair refuses any pet on board. They allow smoked fish but not talented, young fish like Pharaoh on board the aircraft. I will miss him.

Salzburg - A Very long Blog

I texted Mum two weeks ago to ask if she'd like to go to Salzburg with me. I expected a negative response but to my surprise I got a "yes". I went about plans researching and running around like a headless chicken trying to organise myself. I went to Deutsche Bahn to ask for my ticket. The earliest I could arrive into Salzburg was 12.54p.m. That was ok however that meant I had to get up at 5 a.m. and then face a 6.5hour journey to Salzburg with 3 changes. 

Saturday: I was pretty much dead to the world once I got up at 5a.m. but there was an amazing bird morning chorus which I had never heard before...obviously as I am never up at 5.a.m in the mornin

g! I had the pleasure of bumping into every drunk teenager on the way to the train station as their night out was only just ending. I manage the three train changes pretty well. I was very short on time when I was changing 

onto my Munich train. I 

was running along the underground to my platform, my bag was bouncing about a little, it 

felt lighter and lighther. I turned around to notice that the e-n-t-i-r-e contents of my bag was all over the floor; knickers, shoes, clothes, you name it was on the floor. A man bent down to pick up my clothes and jumped away from a pair of frilly knickers that he was about to pick up but he somehow managed to muster up some courage and pick them up and hand them out to me with a scarlet face. On my final train a man began talking (in German) to 

me. To my great surprise 

I could reply and we 

talked for about two hours. He seemed nice and interested in what I was saying in my broken German. However I caught him staring down my top too many times to really believe he was truly interested in what I was saying. He somehow thought Mum was Austrian and that she refused to speak to me in German. He thought it was a great shame and my German was pretty good considering. I blame my terrible German for that misunderstanding. We saw the Untersberg mountain as the train. It is impossible not to burst into song when you see Salzburg. The entire Sound of Music soundtrack will play through your head the entire time you are there. When we got to Salzburg hauptbahnhof he shook my hand, one more quick look down my top and he departed.

I looked frantically around for Mum at the train station and finally caught a glimpse of her back and ran towards her. Learning from earlier I had fastened my bag a little better so all my belongings didn't go flying out everywhere. Mum turned around during my run towards her *Slow motion shot*. There were squeels of joy and happiness which captured the attention of the Austrians but no bother sure. We headed off to find our hotel, the room wasn't ready so our room was changed. We ended up in an apartment with a balcony and a small kitchenette, rather fancy really. We decided to go on a Panorama tour of Salzburg, a fresh face good looking Austrian man called Andreas drove us around Salzburg along with two German couples and an American girl. We saw some of the sights where the Sound of Music was filmed, got a brief history of Salzburg and a witty commentary of everything as we drove past. Salzburg is an extradinary city, it is beoynd beautiful and there is so much history with it too. After the tour we finally had our bearings so we had a walk around and had dinner outside on the square where the Baroque catherdral is. Mum and I had an early start so we went to bed early, I don't remember even closing my eyes to try and sleep, my next memory is being woken up in the morning. 

SUNDAY: We had breakfast on the balcony in the blazing sun. Contary to the weather report it was sunny and hot not rainy and full of thunder storms. Today was a big day for me. We were going to go on The Sound Of Music bus tour! We arrived at the bus which is covered head to toe with painted pictures of The Sound of Music. We had a fabulous and flaming tour guide who made the tour unforgettable. After seeing most the sights of the film we went through mountains driving to the church in which Maria and the Baron get married in as we drove their he played The Sound of Music soundtrack so we could all sing along as the bus drove. Sounds awful doesn't it? It was WONDERFUL! I got a free drink because I answered a question about the film correctly, well Mum said the answer and nudged me to say it so it was a joint victory! We had Streudel outside the infamous church which hot vanilla sauce and ice-cream, a local delicacy. Once the tour sadly ended Mum and I explored all the churches and graveyards we came across on our travels. We went up into the mountain where there was a hidden catacomb. It was really cold and refreshing in there and it had a beautiful big altar carved out of the mountain in the catacomb. We ended up in the famous Sacher Hotel Cafe where the Sacher Torte was invented and is still served there for extortionate prices but it still looks delightful! The cafe is right beside the river which is incredibly strong, I watched the tour barge spin around and around in circles as they were trying to anchor. It was full of tourists, hilarious for me to watch but I'm sure terrifying if you were onborad. We went to a local restaurant that night and then went up to the top of the Stein Hotel which has a beautiful view over the city. The city is lit with very subtle flood lights, all the churches are lit up. We drank some white wine - gesprizt as we gazed over the river.

Monday: We had breakfast again on the balcony, it was roasting before 10.a.m so we decided it'd be better if

we took things slow today. We got a lift up to the modern art museum which is on top on a hill, it was closed. Nevertheless it has a beautiful view of the city. We walked up and around there and came across the original city walls and watch towers. There view was truely phenominal from the top of the hill. We saw a small market from the top of the hill at the Baroque church so we decided we'd go there after Mum and I had a bowl of Spargelsuppe (Asparagus soup) at the hilltop cafe which had a panoramic view of the city! We went to the little market and picked up food for the journey home. Then sadly we walked to the train station. I had an hour to wait while Mum had 20 minutes. We said our goodbyes (Mum wouldn't let me go to the platform with her) so then we went our separate ways. I sat on a bench staring at my feet. It was the same feeling that I had when I watched Mum drive off in the tram the first time I arrived in Freiburg. I waited the clock tick away the time until Mum's train left. Then as the weather forecast had promised it rained. Damn you pathetic fallacy! The train ride was pretty uneventful; some children were playing on the train tracks so we were delayed by 1/2 an hour but I got all my connections and got home safe and sound.

Salzburg was amazing but I don't think I would have had as good a time than I did if Mum wasn't there. She really made the trip so special and she's hilarious fun to be with especially when faced with the wild and wonderful ways of another country. It was wonderful to have her with me, she made the holiday! 

Thanks Mama xx

The day of the crazy men!

So today was a little eventful. It was so gorgeous and sunny that it unleashed the crazies of Freiburg. Firstly I got a shouting phonecall and then I met a man on the tram.

The man on the tram (and title of my new book) shouted in a satanic voice about Hitler, his father and the tram. He then went on to sing Wonderwall by Oasis in this satanic, impending doom voice. A rendition of that song I never want to hear again. I then ran around the tram grabbing men's arms and shouting incomprehensible German and English. I don't know why but some of the craziest of German speak the best of English. He was thrown off the tram at my stop. I ran away quickly but fortunaatly there were girls in hot pants which were far more interesting than me...thank goodness. I can still hear him shouting at the tram stop in my bedroom with the window closed. I'm locking the door tonight.

The phonecall was worrying but at least my biceps were not at risk of being squeezed. My phone rang and I'm all like "oh it's Clair!" *answers* "Hello Lova-Bubbles!" AND A MAN ANSWERS ME BACK! He starts gushing out this really quick German and I say "langsam bitte" and he starts saying "ICH KOMME, ICH KOMME JETZT!" and I'm like..."WAS?! Ich habe etwas Deutsche, Sprecken Sie Englisch" and he says "oh..ja...I COME, I COME NOW! OK?". So I say "OK" and I hung up and now I was sitting in my room all scurred and alone, jumping when I hear the doors opening and closing!

Beautiful weather though!

Breakfast with Tiffani

Tiffani and I sit down to breakfast every morning. It's wonderful. The boys look at us like we've two heads; I suppose it is incomprehensible that two people that live together might want keep each other company. We discuss many things over breakfast but recently our conversation has turned to sport. We're going to go jogging, to a fitness class and swimming together. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? Unfortunatley I now have to secretly go into training so that I won't pass out during any of these adventures. Tiffani is built to excercise whereas I'm built...to...survive the winter. It'll be an interesting experience but it's one way of passing the time...or slowing it down. We'll see how the first jogging session goes!

The perfect essay

I wrote a perfect essay for my How to Read Images class. It is "immpeccable" notes the lecturer her graded it however she also believes that I downloaded it from somewhere on the internet and did not write it myself. I had to visit her in her office hours to find out my grade (unlike everyone else in the class). 

She sat there saying: "it's so perfect, impeccable..but without a doubt not right...perhaps plagirised *pauses so that I have time to confess that I in fact did download it from some unknown source*...it was perfect, I was so surprised how perfect it was....not a bad surprise...but not too good either. I didn't expect such a good essay from anyone in my class...*another dramatic waiting for Helen's confession pause"

Me: Well, I dunno what you're getting at but I wrote the entire thing by myself and quite frankly I'm highly insulted that you have such little faith in me as a student

Lecturer: *concerned faced* oh no I had full faith in you..

Me: to plagirise my essay...wonderful. I followed your instructions for the essay as I wasn't too sure to go about it.

Lecturer: *face lights up like she's been awarded a prize* You followed my instructions, I knew they''d be helpful to my students

Me: Even the ones who pladgirised?

Lecturer: *realising that she is fighting a battle she is about to lose* you're such a pleasure to teach, I know I've said it to you before but there's no harm in repeating it. Now for your grade, 1.0 (the perfect grade in German Uni). But, I feel as though you didn't do so well in your mid-term

Me: We didn't have a midterm

Lecturer: Did you do a presentation?

Me: Yes. 

Lecturer: Oh good, hmmm I don't think it was as good as the essay so for the course I'll give you 1.3. But the essay is still perfect.

Me: Oh I know

Lecturer: Good, I hope you will pop into me and we can have a little chat about how you're getting on or anyhting you like, that'd be nice. 

Me: I highly doubt that *exeunt*

I loathe that woman.